When We're Broken

Well,
I haven't written anything in a while...a long while...and I felt compelled I guess you could say to write one tonight. Something bothers me terribly, as I battle with these questions in my mind, I dunno, maybe I'm just over thinking things. But, maybe I'm on to something. Who knows. Maybe one day all will be made clear. My question is, why can't people just be honest? Not honest as in, I told a lie to someone today, or, a little white lie, or whatever other excuse you can call it. I mean, I guess we lie everyday don't we? Faking how we truly feel on the inside, but on the outside everyone thinks we have our life in order. I dunno, maybe I'm wrong in thinking this, in pondering this. But it also got me thinking, if everyone were dead honest. Even myself. Boy, what a messed up view we would have on everyone around us, what we maybe "thought" of that person, and who they are to who they really are, if of course, we get inside their heads..wait..no...their hearts. Would they be the same person even? Would they be someone that you could truly love for who they were? With all of their brokenness and all of their garbage, is it something you could truly learn to love? I dunno, it got me thinking, if everyone were very, very, honest all the time, to where, no one held any secrets, none at all. Would the world be more peaceful? Or would it cause more harm then good? So when someone asks you, how are you doing...well, how are you really doing? Are you going to lie? Because, to be honest, most of the time I respond with, oh I'm good, or, oh I'm great, or I'm fine...but what if I'm not fine. What if everything in me is...broken? Now, I'm not trying to be "emo" and maybe I'm not even talking about myself, but who's to say right? Maybe I'm talking about the world in general. Could we stop a lot of the pain and heartache that is caused in this world through violence and destruction because someone claims they are doing "good"? Or, is the world in the perfect spot right now because of the lies and antics we come up with to get ourselves out of being completely honest with each other? Who knows...quiet frankly I would like to see what it would turn out to be, maybe not in real life, for the fear of the world becoming an even worse place to dwell than it is already...but maybe, in a dream? A vision? I don't know. I'm just curious I guess. This leads to another question, could doing something bad like..lying, lead to something good...like...peace? I guess this is something I will never really have the answer too because the way the world is going right now isn't good, so I suppose being honest all the time wouldn't really make a difference because we would just have to explain ourselves in the end anyways from all the lying we have done in the past. Sorry, maybe this was a really depressing subject. But I was thinking, it could be thought provoking, a challenge perhaps? Maybe if we all start being a little more honest with how we were we could see in our own lives it if was causing more damage than good, myself included. I guess we will just have to make that decision on our very own...

Until next time..
- Meriss